"I believe you have made John complete"
I was cleaning out my bedside drawer and found a birthday card that you sent me for my birthday. You always go to so much trouble with birthday cards because you make your own.
I read this card and reread this card and just cannot come to grips with the change in your attitude toward me.
Dear Jane,
Wishing you all the best for your birthday. You are very special to us you know Jane. Have said it before and now saying it again - so glad that you and our darling John are together. I believe you have made John complete.
Thinking of you on your birthday and always dear Jane our much loved daughter-in-law.
I read the card and instantly felt pain. I cannot understand why you chose to do what you did. Regardless of your feelings towards me, why as a mother would you support and encourage your child to participate in an extramarital affair, knowing he had a wife and children?
Why would you choose to respond to the mistress's email and enter into an email relationship with the mistress? What on earth would make you want to respond to her? What were you hoping to achieve? What would you say in those emails? Did you say the same things to her, that she was the best thing that had ever happened to your son? How can you morally do what you did and sleep at night?
I remember the conversations that we have held after I caught your son participating in internet pornography activities on numerous occasions. You begged me to stay with him, telling me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. You told me how desperately he loved me. You told me how much he needed me. You acknowledged how settled he was in his life and that you had never seen that before in him. Do you remember these conversations?
Do you believe it is acceptable to encourage my husband to keep secrets from me, particularly when his marriage is in the state that it is? Do you think it is appropriate that you send text messages to his mobile saying "Text me yes if it is OK to call you"?
Why do you not call the home number? Are you fearful to call in case I answer? Does this mean you are too gutless to face me? Why? Why are you fearful to address me? Is this a sign of your guilty conscience?
There is no wonder your son believes it is OK to walk away from issues because this is exactly what you are doing. You have taught him that it is acceptable to tell lies and have secrets, and that it is perfectly normal behaviour to walk away from the issues in your life. You are showing him that it is OK to show no remorse for your actions and that it is acceptable not to take responsibility for your decisions. You have taught him you don't have to say sorry for the hurt that you have caused.
Have you stopped to think about the pain and hurt you have caused me? Do you acknowledge what you did was WRONG? Do you have any regret? Do you not realise you had an obligation, not only to me but also to your grandchildren? Did you stop to think about anyone else in this picture whilst you emailed and supported the mistress?
You are just like your son, or should I say he is just like you because you are obviously the person that has taught him his values. I know you will never apologise to me. I know you will never feel remorse. I know you are not capable of taking responsibility for your actions. I know you will never see what you did was wrong.
You believe that the sun shines out of your son's backside. You have also fallen victim to his lies and manipulative behaviour, afterall you told me that you did not believe anything that came out of my mouth because it differed to the version your prized son told you.
You will always believe what your son tells you. You will always believe that nobody is good enough for him. Reality check for you....I am wife #3. Do you still hold the same theory that he just chooses the wrong women? Or are you perhaps starting to see the situation for what it is?
You are highly critical of your son's ex wife because she makes no effort to ensure you have contact with your grand child. If you treated her the same way that you have treated me then I understand why she would want to protect her child from you and your values.
I want my children to grow up with family values that are totally different to yours.
I want my children to grow up with morals that allow them to know right from wrong.
I want my children to know that being secretive and manipulative is not acceptable.
I want my children to have the ability to face the issues that arise int heir lives.
I want my children to accept responsibility for their actions and decisions.
I want my children to know that telling lies is WRONG!
And most importantly I want my children to know that family comes first, no matter what.
I know what I will tell my children when they are old enough to understand that their grandmother didn't give a damn about them and openly assisted in tearing their family apart.
I read this card and reread this card and just cannot come to grips with the change in your attitude toward me.
Wishing you all the best for your birthday. You are very special to us you know Jane. Have said it before and now saying it again - so glad that you and our darling John are together. I believe you have made John complete.
Thinking of you on your birthday and always dear Jane our much loved daughter-in-law.
I read the card and instantly felt pain. I cannot understand why you chose to do what you did. Regardless of your feelings towards me, why as a mother would you support and encourage your child to participate in an extramarital affair, knowing he had a wife and children?
Why would you choose to respond to the mistress's email and enter into an email relationship with the mistress? What on earth would make you want to respond to her? What were you hoping to achieve? What would you say in those emails? Did you say the same things to her, that she was the best thing that had ever happened to your son? How can you morally do what you did and sleep at night?
I remember the conversations that we have held after I caught your son participating in internet pornography activities on numerous occasions. You begged me to stay with him, telling me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. You told me how desperately he loved me. You told me how much he needed me. You acknowledged how settled he was in his life and that you had never seen that before in him. Do you remember these conversations?
Do you believe it is acceptable to encourage my husband to keep secrets from me, particularly when his marriage is in the state that it is? Do you think it is appropriate that you send text messages to his mobile saying "Text me yes if it is OK to call you"?
Why do you not call the home number? Are you fearful to call in case I answer? Does this mean you are too gutless to face me? Why? Why are you fearful to address me? Is this a sign of your guilty conscience?
There is no wonder your son believes it is OK to walk away from issues because this is exactly what you are doing. You have taught him that it is acceptable to tell lies and have secrets, and that it is perfectly normal behaviour to walk away from the issues in your life. You are showing him that it is OK to show no remorse for your actions and that it is acceptable not to take responsibility for your decisions. You have taught him you don't have to say sorry for the hurt that you have caused.
Have you stopped to think about the pain and hurt you have caused me? Do you acknowledge what you did was WRONG? Do you have any regret? Do you not realise you had an obligation, not only to me but also to your grandchildren? Did you stop to think about anyone else in this picture whilst you emailed and supported the mistress?
You are just like your son, or should I say he is just like you because you are obviously the person that has taught him his values. I know you will never apologise to me. I know you will never feel remorse. I know you are not capable of taking responsibility for your actions. I know you will never see what you did was wrong.
You believe that the sun shines out of your son's backside. You have also fallen victim to his lies and manipulative behaviour, afterall you told me that you did not believe anything that came out of my mouth because it differed to the version your prized son told you.
You will always believe what your son tells you. You will always believe that nobody is good enough for him. Reality check for you....I am wife #3. Do you still hold the same theory that he just chooses the wrong women? Or are you perhaps starting to see the situation for what it is?
You are highly critical of your son's ex wife because she makes no effort to ensure you have contact with your grand child. If you treated her the same way that you have treated me then I understand why she would want to protect her child from you and your values.
I want my children to grow up with family values that are totally different to yours.
I want my children to grow up with morals that allow them to know right from wrong.
I want my children to know that being secretive and manipulative is not acceptable.
I want my children to have the ability to face the issues that arise int heir lives.
I want my children to accept responsibility for their actions and decisions.
I want my children to know that telling lies is WRONG!
And most importantly I want my children to know that family comes first, no matter what.
I know what I will tell my children when they are old enough to understand that their grandmother didn't give a damn about them and openly assisted in tearing their family apart.
posted by kissmekate at 5:12 pm
1 Comments:
HOw painful!
I don't understand - is this typical behavior of in laws??
In my case, my inlaws have completely shunned me. They only choose to listen and support their son - even though he was the one who hurt me and the one who had the affair. Hello! I'm the one who's hurting here - not him. HE chose this path! HE chose not to communite with me his unhappiness. HE chose not to fix his marriage, although I was very willing to try! Obviously, I view marriage as sacred, NOT him!
For eight years, I've been a part of their family and still, they choose to shun me. No sort of explanation whatsoever, except that, "if you need help with your marriage, go to the (church's) elders." I have no idea what my stbx told them about me that made them dislike me so much so as to avoid me.
Although it's painful for me, I also accept that my stbx is their son, and they have no other recourse but to support him.
But yes, it's painful, because I feel that they could have helped us with my marriage, but I get the impression that maybe they don't want us married. Maybe they want their son to be single. Maybe no one is good enough for him. Maybe they feel that I"m the reason my husband is not going to the religion anymore. Maybe they feel that there's a chance that my stbx will find someone who's better in their eyes -although that person might never come. People will always have their flaws - one way or another. Maybe they think I'm joking, or putting up a front???
For this reason, I no longer care to try and fit any particular mold - especially a religious one. People will only and always hear what they want to hear, and they'll always apply what is convenient to them and only them. God help us all because we are in pain, and their actions only inflict more pain on us! How can they not know this?! I hope to God himself that one day they find out what the truth is and accept the truth as such.
Sorry, shattered, for using your blog as a vent. But honestly, I'd have a heart attack if I find out that my inlaws are supporting the mistress, oh my god, just finish burying me.
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