Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Walking in the Mistress's shoes

ad iDISCLAIMER - The questions raised in this post are RHETORICAL. They do not require answers.

I feel cheated. It was rightfully mine and my husband gave it to you and for your own reasons you willingly accepted it. And yet I am the one being judged and told that I have no right to be angry.

Bullshit! I have every right to feel anger and no one is going to tell me otherwise. Up until this point I have only felt pity for you, but I guess I have turned the corner.

You stole from me. You took what was rightfully mine and then had the audacity to believe YOU were done wrong. How dare you treat me like the enemy! I did not break your heart. I did not lie to you. I did not steal him away from you. He was mine long before you entered the picture.

My husband should have been giving me the things he gave to you, but you stroked his ego more than me. I suppose that you were both suffering from low self esteem at the same time and found a 'fix' for your problems within one another. It was so much easier to smother the issues with lust than to address them and acknowledge your faults.

How dare you judge me! Don't sit there and try to attribute the blame on me for the 'lead up' to the affair. You haven't lived this life and you cannot make an informed decision based on the lies that he has told you.

Why was I behaving like I was? Do you know? I was desperate to feel important to my husband and desperate to feel loved, the exact same feelings you were experiencing. Instead of giving those things to me, he gave them to you. Yes my behaviour contributed to the affair. I admit my faults. But are you prepared to admit your faults and your contribution to this affair?

You should have walked away......regardless! You knew he was married and had children. Yes it takes two to tango....but it only takes one to say NO. This whole thing would not have happened had you done the moral thing and turned your back.

You asked me if I knew what your reasons were for loving my husband. I can make an educated guess. You were still suffering from the fact that both of your husbands had affairs on you. You suffered this excruciating pain, not once, but twice. You wanted pay back. You wanted to do the same. You wanted to understand the meaning of an affair.

Why did you inflict this pain upon me? To heal yourself and all the unanswered questions that remain within your soul? I wouldn't wish this pain upon my worst enemy, let alone an innocent person whose only crime was to fall in love with a man and commit her life to him.

Did you honestly think that by inflicting this pain and suffering upon another person it would help you deal with your demons and heal you? Does it make you feel better now? Because if it has made you feel better within yourself then I am glad I could be of assistance to you.

If it makes you feel better, after walking in your shoes, I now understand why you would take it. Afterall, having both of your husbands do the same to you, you must feel incredibly unworthy and unloved. Any man that showed you attention and made you feel loved and important you would hang onto regardless of consequence.

You asked me to take a walk in your shoes and unfortunately due to your choices I am now doing that. The only difference is that I will never look at filling the void and emptiness this affair has created by following in your footsteps.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If some are not happy with your blog they shouldn't have written the story for you to tell.

Wed Aug 30, 08:01:00 am AEST  
Blogger Determined said...

very good blog post. I'm very amazed at how human behavior is very similar. I can very well cut and paste this entire post and put it on my blog.

shattered, don't think that she stroked his ego more than you did. Your husband probably just liked the new attention. Remember, all wives are the "bad guys" who get between a man and his mistress - so of course they are going to find fault with you.

My husband's mistress was also cheated on. I just hope that we don't turn into wopigs as a result of this bad experience.

Wed Aug 30, 12:27:00 pm AEST  
Blogger S* said...

You said "Afterall, having both of your husbands do the same to you, you must feel incredibly unworthy and unloved."

I hope this doesn't mean that you're feeling unworthy and unloved. A man's cheating isn't a reflection of the wife/partner...it's a reflection on HIS own inadequecies. Please keep your chin up, Shattered!

Wed Aug 30, 11:51:00 pm AEST  

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