Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Sometimes I do not understand myself

Sometimes I do not understand myself. But you know what? I am not even going to try and work me out when it comes to this particular post.

My husband has been having an affair. He ended the relationship with his mistress after he realised that he still wanted the marriage. The mistress has not been able to handle this and has subsequently gone out of her way to drive a wedge between me and my husband.

For some reason she was out to 'get' me. I don't mean that in a physical way but her acts included SMS messages to my mobile, comments on my blog site, phone calls to my home residence at all hours of night and day and getting her 'friends' to send anonymous emails to me in relation to contact between my husband and her and many more acts of a harassing nature.

Her behaviour got me to the point that the police became involved and legal matters commenced. At this point she must have gotten scared as she set out to try and remove all the evidence I had against her, including hacking into my blog and email account and deleting all the comments and emails that were sent to me.

Well bugger me if I was not one step further ahead and had already sent these items to my lawyer! After she believed all evidence was destroyed I received papers from her lawyer in regard to my blog being harassing and intimidating and demanding I cease blogging immediately.

Well, hello? I did not ask her to read it! And further more you can't defame an unidentified person now, can you? The argument put forward was that the author of the blog was known. Well honey, if you want to send your friends to my blog then of course they're going to know who the author is after you told them! And then of course they are going to read the truth about the whole affair and realise it differs dramatically from what you have told them! But, again, not my problem if you choose to tell them about my blog.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, when she discovered the evidence still existed she has consented to the offer that was put forward to her. There was a condition on that consentual agreement and that was that I did not pursue my legal costs.

As my lawyer told me I had enough evidence to get a magistrate to grant me an order and then apply for ALL my legal costs to be paid by her. My lawyer was more than happy to run with it and told me I would be granted my application based on the evidence.

But you know what? I could not do it. And the reasons I could not do it was because I know she struggles financially and I did not want her children to miss out because she was stuck with paying thousands of dollars worth of legal costs due to her unlawful and irrational behaviour.

Why should those innocent children suffer at the hands of their mother and miss out because her behaviour was unlawful and unacceptable? I know how hard it is to be a single parent, both mentally and financially, and I just did not want those kids to suffer, so I agreed to the conditon.

I now realise that, unlike the mistress, I actually have a conscience. I only wish she had some form of conscience and thought about my kids when she decided to get involved with my husband.


Anonymous enter sandman said...

Good on ya Shattered, if life or peeple make us bitter they have won, be proud of putting her kids first, you are a genuinely caring open and real person I am happy to have met ( if not literally)
Your integrity is a strong asset and one that will keep you true to not only yourself but your family too ! I wish the world had more of shattered and less of mistress s , what a better world this would be .

Tue Aug 22, 06:43:00 pm AEST  
Anonymous life's not so bad after all! said...

hey ms. shattered,
i chanced upon your blog on a lazy day of blog hopping, and i must say, u r a very brave girl :) inspite of all that has happened with you, you still stand strong and have morals to not pursue that legal matter with the other woman :) you have a kind heart lady!

may God bless you always :)

Tue Aug 22, 09:30:00 pm AEST  
Blogger shattered said...

Hi 'life's not bad' and welcome to my blog. I am glad you chanced upon my blog.

You know I am standing tall because I have not allowed myself to stoop to the same lows as this woman. But I guess her behaviour is a sign of her desperation. Or perhaps obsession is a better word?

My heart is shattered but at the end of the day it is in the right place when it comes to certain things. I cannot believe that I walked away from this but at the end of the day I sleep well knowing I have not ruined the life of those innocent children.

I could have crushed her but I just don't do revenge. In the end Karma will win out!

Tue Aug 22, 10:19:00 pm AEST  
Blogger S* said...

Hey Shattered,

I'll keep my mouth shut on this one. I just hope that you are feeling a bit better these days.

Tue Aug 22, 11:21:00 pm AEST  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

That's okay, shattered -don't cause her children to suffer - forget the money - this isn't what it's about anyway.

Lets just have fun with the blogs, which by the way, why is it that all mistresses get lawyers/solicitors to take down the blog on "defamation"? Aren't they proud that they got the man that they wanted? Don't they want to show off to the world their new boyfriend? Arent' they proud of prying the man of their dreams away from his vows and wife? Why do they act humiliated and try to hide it all of a sudden?

Wed Aug 23, 12:51:00 am AEST  
Blogger mt_detroit said...

You are good women for being stronger than the mistress. You did the right thing.

Wed Aug 23, 04:50:00 am AEST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Karma, what goes aroung comes around, what goes up must come down. How simple life is and can be if only we all knew and believed in Karma. You will mend the shattered peices, in time and Karma will attend to other matters.

Wed Aug 23, 06:34:00 am AEST  

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