Friday, August 18, 2006

The meaning of "I love you"

What exactly does "I love you" mean?

To me those words mean commitment, sacrifice, loyalty, honesty. They mean forsaking all others, devotion and that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you look at the person you claim to love.

"I love you" means working through problems and communicating your thoughts and feelings. "I love you" means striving to reach your full potential as a couple, developing an understanding of each others needs and trying to fulfill those needs.

It means being truthful and honest to each other. It means wanting to spending the rest of your life with this person and grow old together.

Right now my dearest husband I am not feeling loved at all. Why is that?

Because YOU chose to break your commitment, YOU chose to be dishonest, YOU chose to lie, YOU chose to have sex with someone else, YOU chose to turn your back on communication within your marriage and YOU chose to turn your back on the problems instead of dealing with them.

Now my dear husband YOU have a choice. YOU either wish to address these issues or I will turn my back, because the words "I love you" no longer hold meaning to me.

Words are cheap and actions speak louder than words!


Anonymous tryand stay positive said...

Ask him what he is prepared to sacrifice to make this marriage work? Then ask him to do it. If the sacrific is shallow you have an answer, if the sacrifice is deep you have a promise, if he stands by his word you have commitment, it could also be russian roulette. Every woman reaches russian roulette to some degree.

Sat Aug 19, 12:25:00 am AEST  
Blogger shattered said...

Sacrifice is a huge thing for my husband. I suggested that the only way that we had any hope was if we moved interstate.

I have to say his response amazed me! He responded with "So where are we going?"

I am not pushing this issue because right now I don't even know if I want this marriage. It really is up to him now to show me how much HE wants it!

Sat Aug 19, 12:38:00 am AEST  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

shattered, buddy -
what's going on over there, I thought that you two were workign things out...?
I got told "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" *yawn*

Sat Aug 19, 01:28:00 am AEST  
Blogger shattered said...

solaris my love I have put my foot down. I am demanding the changes be made that need to be made.

I am no longer a 'puppet on a string' and I am refusing to have these issues left under the carpet.

Big changes or I go!!! Simple!

Sat Aug 19, 01:34:00 am AEST  
Blogger S* said...

I hope you put your foot down HARD. Sometimes men think once they're back "in", they don't have to do anything anymore, don't have to prove themselves. Stand firm no matter what and keep figuring out exactly what it is that you want.


Sorry if this posts multiple times...Blogger issues. Sorry!

Sat Aug 19, 05:06:00 am AEST  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

wow, sounds pretty bad. But you never know if he might comply..
send me a note when you have time, babes.

Sat Aug 19, 08:15:00 am AEST  
Anonymous tryand stay positive said...

I am glad your feelng empowered Shattered, that strength will carry you through so hold onto it.
Have you guys considered marriage councelling? I think all avenues are worth a shot if they help you get back to where you were.
I also think Men are dumb creatures who play the role far too often and lose sight of what is really needed to make a relationship work, maybe he needs giant hints how to meet your needs.

Never over estimate a mans emotional IQ. Infact get him to do one, and do one yourself, they are eye opening.

Sat Aug 19, 09:20:00 am AEST  
Blogger shattered said...

s* I have put my foot down VERY hard, even to the point that he wants to move back in but I don't even let him stay overnight at my house. I will not let him stay here until I have PROOF that he wants this relationship to work. I am not going to have my emotions played with like he has done the last 6 months. I refuse to do it. I am standing strong.

stay positive - he knows EXACTLY what he needs to do because I have made it very clear. If he is not capable of doing some really simple things then there is no hope for us.

I again gave him the opportunity to go less than 8 hours ago so he is not being held in this relationship against his will.

Thanks for your support guys.

Sat Aug 19, 11:17:00 am AEST  

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