Have I chosen the wrong path?

I have accepted how my behaviour has played a part in my husband having an affair. I am happy to admit I am not perfect. However, I am not prepared to accept the blame for his choice to step outside the boundaries of his marriage.

I struggle everyday thanks to my husband's affair. I call him on his mobile and if he doesn't answer I am overwhelmed with emotion. Is he with her? Where is he? Why does he not answer his phone?

Everyday I find myself asking the question why I chose to travel the hard path. It would have been so easy to have seperated and been on my own. I enjoy my own company. I quite like weekends at home doing things I want to do. Every second weekend without children would have been welcomed. Imagine the things I could have done in my own company!

But instead I chose this path, a path that is so incredibly difficult. I am emotionally drained. I am exhausted. I feel so overwhelmed by the raw emotion that is constantly consuming me.

Unanswered questions haunt me everyday. Doubt is my best friend at the moment. Trust went down the drain the night he told me of his affair.