Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Do you believe in Angels?

I have an absolutely gorgeous friend that has the biggest heart. She is just beautiful. She is the sort of person that has such faith in people that she does not see bad in anyone. It saddens me that people take advantage of her beautiful spirit and her generous nature.

We don't see each other often but just seem to know when the other person needs to be contacted. Right now is one of those times. I needed her. I needed to hear her comforting voice of reason. I needed her shoulder to cry on and her strength to lift my spirit.

I was with my husband and we were out and about late one afternoon over the weekend. We were in a light industrial area that is really only a weekday area but we were there. I had not eaten lunch and was feeling slightly hungry so my husband saw a petrol station and turned around to get me something to eat. And low and behold, guess who was at that service station?

My gorgeous friend was refueling her car at this very same petrol station.

We just stood in the driveway of that petrol station and hugged. She knew something was wrong and I was hesitant to tell her about my husband's affair. I don't want this to consume my life. I did not want to tell my gorgeous friend. But unfortunately this decision was taken out of my hands.

My husband was with me and he turned around and told my friend of his affair. I was stunned. Here was my husband standing in front of me acknowledging how he failed me as a husband. I was in such a state of shock that I cannot recall the words that my husband used, which is so unlike me. Ask my husband and he will tell you I have a memory like an elephant when it comes to remembering details.

But what even surprised me more was my friend's reaction. She then proceeded to tell me that her husband had an affair before they were married and she found out about it after they were married. She went on to tell me that this will bring us closer together and that her marriage is stronger than it ever was before. She told me that there was a deeper understanding of each persons needs in their relationship now and they had a greater depth of communication.

She did not only paint a rosy picture of the 'happily ever after'. She told me how she struggled with her emotions, and her inability to trust. She told me how it took years to overcome but how it has made her a better person. She also advised my husband of what he has to do to repair the damage that he has caused.

I really needed to hear these things. I really needed to have my feelings acknowledged and know that I am normal. I really needed to hear my husband acknowledge how he has let me down.

But I really needed to hear my husband say "I know it will take years but I will be there for as long as it takes. I just want my girl back."

My husband and I got in our car and watched my friend drive away. And it was only then that my husband realised that my dearest friend's number plate on her car was "ANGELS".

4 Comments:

Anonymous tryand stay positive said...

Your very lucky to have such a wonderful friend and yes it sure is reason to feel more positive.

Wed. Aug. 16, 10:10:00 pm AEST  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

yes - true friends are really the best! Hang in there, babes!

Wed. Aug. 16, 11:02:00 pm AEST  
Blogger S* said...

It's a good reminder that you don't have to go through this alone. And unfortunately, there are many people who can relate to what you're going through. Just remember to keep yourself as the number one priority in the situation. Your husband should be besides himself trying to make you feel wonderful, special and appreciated. People don't always get second chances. And if he doesn't, keep reminding yourself that you're worthy of a good, honest, healthy relationship.

Thu. Aug. 17, 12:16:00 am AEST  
Blogger Colette said...

OK...

I am going to tell you right now to stop waiting around to hear him say the things you need to hear - not to knock him my dear, but it may not EVER happen.

I WILL acknowledge that your feelings are VALID and that you have indeed been let down.

You have to trust in your intuition, in your worthiness of being loved and being able to give love, in your own sense of self-worth - if he takes that from you,(if you ALLOW that to happen), then no matter what he says (which for the record could be just words/lip-service), you won't have ANYTHING of any value.

Value YOU. Take time for YOU. Heal YOU. The rest will fall into place.

*hugs*

Fri. Aug. 18, 10:30:00 pm AEST  

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