Monday, November 06, 2006

Marriage Is...

Marriage Is...

A commitment. Its success doesn't
depend on feelings, circumstances, or
moods ~ but on two people who are
loyal to each other and the vows they
took on their wedding day...

Marriage Is...

Hard work. It means chores, disagreements,
misunderstandings, and times when you
might not like each other very much. When
you work at it together, it can be the
greatest blessing in the world.

A relationship where two people must listen,
compromise, and respect. It's an arrangement
that requires a multitude of decisions to be
made together. Listening, respecting, and
compromising go a long way toward keeping
peace and harmony.

Marriage Is...

A union in which two people learn from
their mistakes, accept each other's faults,
and wilingly adjust behaviours that need to
be changed. It's caring enough about each
other to work through disappointing and
hurtful times, and believing in the love that
brought you together in the first place.

Patience and forgiveness. It's being open
and honest, thoughtful and kind.
Marriage means talking things out,
making necessary changes, and forgiving
each other. It's unconditional love at its
most understanding and vulnerable ~ love
that supports, comforts, and is determined to
triumph over every challenge and adversity.

Marriage is a partnership of two unique
people who bring out the very best in each
other and who know that even though they
are wonderful as individuals... they are even
better together.

Barbara Cage

When I read this verse my eyes fill with tears. I have learnt so much about myself, my husband and marriage. Had my husband not had an affair I really do believe that my marriage would have failed. Now I see there is hope for my marriage.

My relationship with my husband was truly special, something that very few couples ever experience. Right now I am not sure if we will ever have that again.

What I do know is that I have to give myself a chance to heal from this traumatic experience. I am exhausted. I am tired both physically and emotionally.

I no longer feel it is in my best interest to continue blogging. I once wrote a post on the 'Tiny window of hope' that related to the continued contact with the Mistress keeping her hopes alive. Whilst ever she reads my blog she has an insight into my life.

I have reached the stage where I realise she does not deserve to see what happens to my marriage. And therefore this will be my last ever post on 'Totally Shattered'.

To all my readers I thank you for your comments and support during the last however many months you have read my blog. Shattered will one day be back but probably in hardback on the bookshelves.

Feel free to drop me an email so I can keep you updated!

Thanks again


Anonymous Lara Croft420 said...

I think your right, this blog served it purpose and it helped you analyse what your thoughts were but now it is time to move on. Keep in touch

Lurve lara
ps you know where my blog is LOL

Tue. Nov. 07, 05:49:00 pm AEDT  
Blogger S* said...

You're absolutely right. That's why I shut down my old blog, too. Didn't want a certain someone having an undeserved glimpse into my life (and he hasn't found my new blog...he doesn't know his way around Blogland).

Best, best, best to you and you'd better keep in touch!

Tue. Nov. 07, 11:22:00 pm AEDT  
Blogger John said...

I'm glad that things have worked out for you. A small percent of affairs don't result in the marriage dissolving. I'm glad yours is one. And while I am sorry to see you stop blogging, I'm glad its for this reason.

Wed. Nov. 08, 03:13:00 am AEDT  
Blogger Mackenzie1975 said...

I think that journey has ended and a new one only just beginning!!
BRAVO! Keep in touch as I trust you will!!

Wed. Nov. 08, 03:52:00 am AEDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peace and love Shattered.


Wed. Nov. 08, 03:57:00 am AEDT  
Blogger Karin's Korner said...

I agree with you taking down your blog, she does not need to know what goes on with you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your world with the rest of us bloggers. I am sure that what you have written has helped many people. You will be missed. If you ever think about starting a new blog please contact me at and let me know. God bless you and your family.

Wed. Nov. 08, 06:55:00 am AEDT  
Blogger Emily said...

Dear Shattered

I will miss you and your blog, but I think you are doing the right thing.

The woman your husband had an affair with doesn't belong in your marriage, and yet she was a continuing presence as long as you were posting about her and she was reading.

Stay in touch! You know where I am

Emily xox

Wed. Nov. 08, 07:09:00 am AEDT  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

((hugs to you shattered))
It's been quite a journey, hasn't it? Hooray for moving on! Please do continue to keep in touch!

Wed. Nov. 08, 01:06:00 pm AEDT  
Blogger Leigh said...

This makes me very sad. I hate to see you go. You are an amazingly strong women. I have learned so much from reading your blog. You have really helped me out without even knowing. You can always fly on stealth. It is working great for me. Keep in touch.

Your in my thoughts and prayers.

Thu. Nov. 09, 04:28:00 am AEDT  
Blogger Frannie Farmer said...

Ohhh. I hope that all goes well. I haven't commented often, but I do read frequently. I have high hopes for you and your husband, I sincerely do!

Thu. Nov. 09, 11:51:00 am AEDT  
Blogger feduptonoend said...

I like you also ended my blog. I feel that when things are going well peoples comments werent that of happiness but more of what fools we are for putting up with their crap. I will miss you Shattered for you made me feel that my life was somewhat normal. I wish you great happiness with your husband and just know how great you are!!

Sat. Nov. 11, 12:04:00 pm AEDT  
Blogger Leigh said...

Are you really gone???

Sun. Nov. 12, 11:39:00 am AEDT  
Anonymous shattered said...

HI Guys,

Thanks for your comments.

Yes Leigh - Totally Shattered has gone.

But I am back so will email you.

Anyone else wants the new address - leave me a comment with your email address and I will forward the new address to you.

(Comments will not be published!)

Mon. Nov. 13, 11:30:00 am AEDT  
Blogger Limerick Gal said...

I've been reading your blog with interest. I wish you well! Good luck with everything!

Wed. Nov. 15, 01:27:00 am AEDT  

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