Monday, November 06, 2006

He will wait for that day

I was reading one of my favourite blogs today and came across a very moving post that relates so well to my life at the moment.

We all know 'Goodbye my Lover" by James Blunt, and in fact this is one of my favourite CD's at the moment. I guess the thing that got me the most from the clip I viewed today are the words that accompany it.

The man goes all out to impress the woman. He presents her with a bunch of flowers and says:

"I know you don't have love to give me today

But I am sure someday you will have.....I'm sure

And I will wait for that day

because I know that day will come.....I'm sure

But for today, please have faith in my love

Because I know it's enough for both of us."

My husband has said goodbye to his Mistress and wants nothing else but to rebuild our marriage. He tries every single day to regain my trust and show me how much he loves me.

The other night I was angry with him. I had to go to a meeting on the other side of town. Whilst I was at that meeting he filled my car with bunches of beautiful fresh flowers and love notes. I could not believe it and nor could my friends that were with me!

He left a card for me saying "I'd like to apply for the position of making you feel as special as you are."

At the moment I struggle. On a daily basis I struggle. I find I cannot give myself completely to my husband. I am sure that the day when I can give myself to him both emotionally and physically will come. I know my husband is patiently waiting for this day to arrive and will wait for an eternity if needed.

He tells me everyday how sorry he is and how much he loves me. He tells me that he has never loved anyone like he loves me, and that what we had was so special that he could never find that with anyone else.

He thanks me everyday for giving him another day. And each day he is given he believes is a miracle and a blessing.

After reading the post on the other blog today, I realised that my husband's love is enough for both of us. I do have faith in the love that we had, and believe that we will pull through this with time.

I know my husband will wait for the time when the good days outweigh the bad, but I should not take him for granted like I do. I should be focussing my energy on healing the wounds that constantly cuase me pain. I also know that I am not giving us the chance to heal and come through this whilst I focus my energies elsewhere.

And so my loyal readers I thank you for your support during the last 6 months, but Shattered is going to teach her new employee how to make her feel special!

Shattered will continue to write, just not via a public forum. Feel free to drop me an email so I can keep in touch with you.

I wish all of you the very best and look forward to catching up with soon. Shattered will be back one day!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally understand those words I just read and I too have a very hard time putting my trust back into my first best friend as well as now my husband. I have struggled with should I or should'nt I? If I do then something else will come up. I thought I got married for all the right reasons and that my husband could only have those feelings for me and then he changed,because of not being honest and wasn't able to get past it. How do you get past it when he is suppose to be your soulmate for life? Thank You, Melody

Thu. Sep. 24, 08:28:00 am AEST  

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